Sometimes we don't even realize we are insecure about something. It takes an incident or an intense experience to bring us face to face with the gigantic gaping chasm of insecurity that lurks inside of our minds. Drawing it out in my sketchbook helps me confront it and process what I feel about it and when I do that, I realize that my insecurity, a result of mental conditioning, is nothing more than a mirage.
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Some time ago, a friend wrote a very thoughtful letter to me on what beauty means to him and why it was important to his existence. In the letter, along with his words were included pictures of things and surroundings from his everyday life that he finds beautiful. In order to reply to his letter, I have been compelled to confront and examine what beauty means to me and why it is so important to my existence. When I partake of my friend’s beautifully worded letter with its pictures, I try to think of my own sentiments towards this subject. I realize that when I am drawn towards beauty, it is because of what it makes me feel and that feeling is an instinctive attraction towards the object I find beautiful causing in me a desire to possess it as mine and look at from every facet and consume it with my eyes so that I don’t miss out on anything of this that I find so beautiful. I do that by drawing and other times I use my camera. It is an attempt to make something ephemeral last forever.
I found this flower during a walk. The house was empty and some helpful boys jumped over the wall at my request to get it for me. It is a gorgeous flower and this is the first time I have seen anything like it. As I carried it home, I almost felt like a hunter taking home an exotic animal. This is not the best analogy to use perhaps but the sense of triumph and disbelief that washed over me when I possessed this beautiful flower was enormous.
I might have inadvertently found the words to express my sentiments towards objects of beauty while writing this blog post, but to articulate why beauty is so important to me in my life seems to be as skilled a task as finding the right kind of line to express what I want to in a drawing. It will take some practice, but I’ll get there.